Failing 101: Professor provides syllabus, outlines foolproof way to fail college courses
By Trey Porter, sidelines
Issue date: 1/30/04 Section: Culture
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UWIRE - Calling all procrastinators, slackers, cheaters, bums and - well, any college student, really. Here is a list for you.
"Ten Ways to Fail this Course" was put together during winter break by a Middle Tennessee State University professor.
It's not for the one in a million lifetime overachiever, but it runs the table as far as the rest of the population is concerned.
Mark Anshel, who has a masters' degree in psychology of human performance and a doctorate in philosophy, teaches a graduate course called research methods at MTSU. The purpose of the list is to give his students a colorful reminder of what not to do if they want to pass with a decent grade.The list, however, relates well to any student at any level of the academic ladder.
The following is an abbreviated preview of things any good student would likely avoid:
1) Negative self-talk: Keep telling yourself, "This course is meaningless and irrelevant. I'll never use anything I learn in this class."
2) Class attendance: Miss as many classes as you can. If you must attend, try to leave after the break. Besides, there's probably something on TV you'd rather watch.
3) Pre-class rituals: If this class is taught in the evening, be sure to go all day non-stop, don't rest before class and come to class completely exhausted. Also, avoid food and make sure you arrive to class starving.
4) Study habits: Wait until a few days before - better yet, the day before - the exam before you begin to study. Try pulling an "all-nighter."
5)Plagiarize: Since developing writing skills and reading research are both totally unnecessary, especially for research purposes, if you don't intend to write a thesis, just cheat. Copy articles and books verbatim. Plagiarism can result in expulsion from the university program, but it's worth a try.
6) Wait until the last day to finish assignments: To get a low grade in this course, wait until the last few days before finishing your assignment so you can give an array of excuses why your assignment is late.
"Ten Ways to Fail this Course" was put together during winter break by a Middle Tennessee State University professor.
It's not for the one in a million lifetime overachiever, but it runs the table as far as the rest of the population is concerned.
Mark Anshel, who has a masters' degree in psychology of human performance and a doctorate in philosophy, teaches a graduate course called research methods at MTSU. The purpose of the list is to give his students a colorful reminder of what not to do if they want to pass with a decent grade.The list, however, relates well to any student at any level of the academic ladder.
The following is an abbreviated preview of things any good student would likely avoid:
1) Negative self-talk: Keep telling yourself, "This course is meaningless and irrelevant. I'll never use anything I learn in this class."
2) Class attendance: Miss as many classes as you can. If you must attend, try to leave after the break. Besides, there's probably something on TV you'd rather watch.
3) Pre-class rituals: If this class is taught in the evening, be sure to go all day non-stop, don't rest before class and come to class completely exhausted. Also, avoid food and make sure you arrive to class starving.
4) Study habits: Wait until a few days before - better yet, the day before - the exam before you begin to study. Try pulling an "all-nighter."
5)Plagiarize: Since developing writing skills and reading research are both totally unnecessary, especially for research purposes, if you don't intend to write a thesis, just cheat. Copy articles and books verbatim. Plagiarism can result in expulsion from the university program, but it's worth a try.
6) Wait until the last day to finish assignments: To get a low grade in this course, wait until the last few days before finishing your assignment so you can give an array of excuses why your assignment is late.
